I am falling in love with the Angel of Death.

She can take me at any time. She can take any of my loved ones or my possessions at any time she chooses.

The “Angel of Death” in the Toltec teachings, is a way to become more aware of the present moment and surrender to it. Our mind is busy making plans, scheming or feeling defeated, looking for something else than what is. The mind is focused on the goal rather than the present.

When we make the Angel of Death our constant companion, the distant goals loose their original meaning or aim. If we are to die at any time, what is the point of aiming for a goal that might never be reached?

My inner gremlin likes nothing better than to keep me feeling depressed, thinking “what’s the point anyway?” The best defense against my inner gremlin is to surrender to the Angel of Death and to embrace the answer “nothing. There is no point.”

It may seem paradoxical and you may be wondering if maybe this makes me even more depressed, or if it means that I am aimlessly living without goal… well actually, no. I feel more joy and more purpose when I adopt this point of view, because the reason for doing something is shifting, from my head to my heart.

What about you? What is your inner gremlin usually saying to you? Send me your answers in order to participate in the monthly drawing.
Ask yourself : “What am I looking to get out of doing X (what I want to do)?”

If the answer falls in the category of “getting something out of it” such as getting love, recognition, money, a big car, fame etc… the Angel of death can take all of these anytime she chooses…

If your answer falls in the category of immediate enjoyment, that’s fine for entertainment, but living a life of pure hedonism feels a bit empty after a while.

The only answer which I found survives the Angel of Death watchful gaze is “I want to do this because it feels good to express my love/creativity/true self…”

When you embrace the Angel of Death, she becomes your Angel of Life. That desire to express your love in everything you do infuses your action with a divine spark. It feels good and you inspire people around you.

A few days ago, I started organizing a trip to Toronto to give a small lecture-workshop and see my friends… just because I love giving lectures and workshops and I love seeing my friends. If people show up, great, otherwise, great as well. The actions I take are the same, the perspective is totally different. I am no longer looking to get something, but I am here to share of myself.

With this new perspective, there is no point. None. No meaning to my life, no lofty goals to accomplish to make me feel worthwhile.

There is just a feeling of expansion and love in my heart. I am learning to do what I truly wish to do in my heart, moment by moment. I think I will gather more desire to share, more inner strength and definitely more fun!
I love you all.


Tamara is a Wisdom Guide who has been trained for many years by don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements”.
She offers private transformation sessions over the phone and in person. She also offers a Personal Freedom Apprenticeship, to guide brave souls out of the maze of their mind, into the sweetness of their hearts. Schedule a free 20 minutes conversation with Tamara to see if this program is right for you.
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