I love you WORLD! I thought a few minutes ago, as I felt love and gratitude pouring out of my heart, for no reason at all.  This is a new feeling.  One that I feel much gratitude for.  I am grateful for my newfound ability to feel gratitude and love.  I have been chronically and severely depressed most of my life, from about age 7 onwards.  It runs in my family.  Pretty much all the adults in my family are or were on anti-depressants.  I instead chose the path of self transformation, digging deep within myself to extricate and let go of this yucky, gooey programming that was keeping me stuck and floundering about in the swamps of depression, paralysis and procrastination.

I would now like to share with you the highlights of my journey, as it will benefit you if you are just feeling blah, or are deep down in depression.  Depression is not something people readily admit to having, and it is commonly thought that someone who is depressed is somehow weak, or self indulgent, or that you just have to learn to live with it, and pop a pill to keep your head above water.  My life experience, as well as the experience of my clients whom I have also helped to completely come out of chronic depression, is here to attest to the contrary.


For those of you who are fortunate enough to not suffer from it, think of depression as a form of emotional paralysis.  If you’ve never done this before, put your hand on a table, with your fingers folded under the palm, and only the ring finger laid down out in front.  Now try to move your ring finger.

It doesn’t move, does it?  But “you should be able to move it” shouldn’t you?  Why isn’t it moving?  Because you are not wired for it.  There are no circuits in your body that enable you to move your ring finger when it is laid down in isolation in front of the others.  Now transpose this feeling to your emotional state.  Depressed people know they should be able to go about their life, do what they need to do, let alone actually enjoy being alive… except that they are not wired for it.  Telling them to snap out of it, or look on the bright side, is not going to help.  Telling your hand to snap out of it is not helping is it?  Your finger is still not moving is it?

For those of you who know what I am talking about, and are experiencing depression, let me offer you some hope.  I have been there… for most of my life.  Being depressed really sucks, and it feels like it is never ending.  You wake up and wish you were still sleeping, and that the day would go by as fast as possible just so that you can go back into oblivion.  You don’t know what to do for fun, because, frankly, nothing is quite worth the effort, and nothing is really fun.  Most things are overwhelming, and doing anything requires super-human effort.  You feel isolated and sad, even when you have friends or family who love you. Your thinking is clouded, your mind jumps all over the place, you forget everything, and anyway, nothing much is worth remembering.  “What is the point of life?” is a constant nagging thought.  At one point I seriously considered suicide, because I honestly thought the world would be better off without me.

Sounds familiar?

Now, I am becoming deeply happy and grateful to be alive.  So how am I transforming myself from being paralyzed and stuck in depression, to feeling the thrill of being alive, in love with everything and everyone?


There are several factors that contribute to depression, which I will touch upon in this article:
• genetic inner programming and emotional traumas, which can all be transformed by the type of energy work I am pioneering

physical imbalances and environmental factors such as heavy metal poisoning, Candida yeast, intolerance to certain foods such as gluten or sugar, neo-natal smoking etc… which will require physical detoxification

nutrient starvation, specific nutrients your brain is starved for, such as blue green algae (Biosuperfood) Omega oils, Vitamin D3, Vitamin B complex, Magnesium etc.

• the lack of proper wiring for love and happiness, resulting from birth disconnects, such as what happens in regular western medicine supervised births. These can be re-installed with energy work as well.  Another cause could be a well-being inner thermostat which is set too low, and self regulates to bring you back down into depression, which needs to be changed with energy work as well.
Subconscious imprints are dragging and keeping us down, very much like heavy ballast would prevent a hot air balloon from ever taking off.  These inner programming often run in your family line, in the case of chronic depression, and can take the form of emotional DNA programming, familial attitudes or passed down beliefs systems (such as “Life is difficult” for example).
Your reaction to an event usually comes from a childhood traumatized reaction, which stay blocked in your most primitive brain, the “Reptilian Complex” and trigger survival reactions of fight, flight or paralysis such as feeling avoidance, feeling overwhelmed, shutting down, feeling bored, avoidance behavior, self destructive behaviors etc…

Becoming aware of them, and “just feeling the feeling” is just not enough.

The first few methods I explored provided me with temporary relief, but soon enough, one of the programming would be triggered and the depression would come back full force.  ‘Will this ever end??’ was the dominant feeling.  I had made a promise to myself during my suicidal time that I was going to learn from this, and be able to help others.  That determination to get better and pass it on carried me through these discouraging times.

Understanding how to access and shift the Reptilian Survival Brain and its patterns was the key to rapid transformation.

This is the first crucial step.  To get out of depression, you need to have a determination, deep in your core, to get bettero get better, to do what it will take, no matter how long it will take. 

My own journey took me many years, of stumbling in the dark, groping around to find my way to well being.  It won’t take you as long, because you can use me, and many others, as your guide.  You can learn from what has worked for me and apply it yourself.

Just a few months after I made that promise to myself, I moved out to San Diego to start anew, and started apprenticing with don Miguel Ruiz (author of the 4 agreements), his mother Sarita and others who taught me a different way to tap into the Universal Source, and utilizing this energy to transmute subconscious programming, that otherwise wouldn’t budge. This energy can also be used to guide “miraculous” physical healings.

Because my constant request to Source is to “show me how to make the healings faster and more profound” I am constantly downloaded with new ways.  As a result what was taking several hours to shift at the beginning of my journey now takes a few minutes.

As I kept shedding layers of programming, and centering in my true self, little glimmers of hope started surfacing in my life.  I felt that it was going to be possible to be one day, completely depression free.


A couple of years after moving to health conscious San Diego, I had become obese and even walking was painful. A friend told me “Cleanse and eat raw foods.” Huh?? OK! I was shocked to discover that a side effect of the physical detox was that my emotional health started to improve dramatically.  I have since then done in depth research about the emotional effects of physical imbalances.

Let go of the heavy metals
Too much heavy metals (from dental fillings or city fumes) prevents further detox, and engenders lots of self doubt and negative thinking.  I felt a physical shift as my silver fillings were removed.  Having an imbalance gut flora and too much Candida yeast/fungus in your body can create a foggy brain, depressive states, doubts and emotional paralysis.  Certain foods trigger hidden inflammation for those who are sensitive to them, and in turn affect the brain or the release of “feel good hormones.”  In my case, gluten is the culprit to avoid. Once I removed those, and started rebalancing my gut flora, and taking care of the Candida overload, I started feeling remarkably better.
Feeding your brain:
A friend recently introduced me to Biosuperfood from www.Bioage.com .  I call it the “happy hippy pill.”  It’s a blend of all natural blue green algae that directly feeds the brain, providing it all the nutrients it needs to function optimally.  I’ve tried many other supplements, and this one works wonders.  I also take 8000 units of Vitamin D3 in the winter, magnesium and make sure to have a high intake of raw, live foods, filled with vitality and enzymes, which in turn help my body feel more vibrantly alive. I used to be addicted to fast food, but let them go… you cannot expect your mood to be good if you keep stuffing your body with delicious, addictive junk food that gunks up your system.

Happiness wiring:
A few years ago, I saw a wonderful video “Birth as we know it” by Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova.  It shows how regular hospital birth has a profound traumatic effect on babies, and how different babies are when they are born in natural settings.  Naturally born babies are calm, unafraid, feel loved and taken care of, supported in the world.

Emotional blockages build over time, similar to a pearl grown by an oyster in reaction to an intrusive tiny grain of sand.  It makes sense that accessing the very first time a trauma gets imprinted, and unwiring it there, unravels the whole structure of negative emotions, energy blockages and beliefs systems which have built upon the original incident.

We can also transform in a similar manner the imprints of conception and gestation.  Several of my clients who were a bit skeptical about what they were imagining happened, interviewed their mothers and were stunned to discover that their imagined access to their subconscious matched exactly their mother’s experience.

Once the blockages are removed, we then proceed to download a new way of being, which translates by being rewired for love and happiness.  We clean up the circuitry, and replug them to the Source of Unconditional Love… and what a feeling it is to experience for the very first time the feeling of being unconditionally loved and supported, cradled by a loving world.

For me, this journey doesn’t end at being functionally happy.  I am starting to experience moments of utter inner peace and unity with the world, immense gratitude at being alive, love pouring out of my heart.  I plan on continuing to strengthen and expand my capacity to be a clear channel for universal love forever.  And I also plan on helping as many people as possible to be on this every so rewarding journey.  I invite you to join in healing your depression and experiencing your natural state which is love.

Tamara Messenger is a Nagual Toltec Mentor, and takes people on a path to personal freedom through Toltec Apprenticeship.
She also gives one on one transformational sessions and teaches training seminars in the USA, Canada and France, upon request.
Please contact her for more information and to schedule a free information call: 716-462-6556 or from Canada 1-514-448-2661